I am Hopeful

The feeling of being hopeful has always been extremely important to me. (I think the word "hopeful" itself is so beautiful.) There have been many times in my life where hope alone has kept me going. Some people need happiness, love, and I don't know what else. But what I need is hopefulness. I need to feel like things can get better. Possibly, in the future, there are good things that could happen that I may be involved in. I need to be hopeful. (And I mean this in the most Un-Obama kind of way possible.) I need real hope... like the kind you find at Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I am doing better tonight. I am feeling hopeful. I have been so discouraged by my injury and my setbacks lately. It is so easy when one is down to just focus on sad things and sit in negativity. (My kids are naughty. I miss my Mother. My husband travels. My foot hurts. Please Sarah... Pull it together!) But tonight I am feeling better. I am hopeful. For the first time since my surgery I am noticing a change in my pain level in just one day. Jack made me sit in one place for 5 hours w/ the TENS unit on. When I got up I could notice a difference in the pain level, from when I had sat down. Its not huge news... but enough to put a smile on my face.... enough to make me hopeful. As I hobbled to my bed tonight I thought "This doesn't hurt too terribly bad." When I looked in the mirror I actually was smiling about it. Ahhh. Hopefulness. Think about it... what makes you hopeful?

The Wound

I took the bandage off my foot today. Look w/ caution. It is gross. I have a close up shot too. But I decided not to put that up. My foot and leg are pretty swollen, as you can see. It is also black and blue around the top. Ugh. I cannot wait for this to all be over.

Upgrade

Well, it is time for a bigger family vehicle. Check out my new ride!!! Yes- that is a bright, red minivan parked in my driveway!!! Yay!!! I have wanted one forever. Things were getting bad around here w/ my old clunker. I was driving a 13 year old car. She was faithful but I was starting to have some disturbing problems. For instance- it was shuddering really bad when you put it into reverse while running the air conditioner. Also, sometimes it didn't like to start. And it had been making some noises. People had been telling me I needed a new car for a long time. I've been ignoring them. I don't like to spend my money. Then my Dad hinted that I needed a new car. Hmmm? Dad also doesn't like me to spend my money. Then he started calling me about cars that he was finding. So I started paying attention. If my Dad thinks I need a new car... then I really do need a new car. Yesterday, my Mother, the children, and I did a little van shopping. Actually, I shopped online beforehand and knew exactly what I wanted when I went in! I bought it myself and am very proud of that. I actually got a pretty good deal.... well, as good of a deal as you can get when you have to give someone else money for something. I am happy to have done this all w/ barely being able to walk. Thanks Mom for taking care of the kiddos! I LOVE my new van!

Day 3 Post Op

I had my post-op check up today. My doctor removed my bandage and put on another one that is smaller and less cumbersome. We took some x-rays and he checked my stitches. He said that I am progressing as I should be. My foot is bruised badly and really swollen but he says that is normal for 3 days after the surgery. I can take the bandage off in 3 days and put on a large band-aid. And I can drive then if I am not in need of pain meds. Then, in 10 days, I have to go back and get my stitches out. My foot does hurt more than I expected but I am adjusting to it and everyday it does hurt a little less. Overall I am feeling pretty good. Here is another shot of me keeping my foot up... this is all I am doing lately!

This is the day...

Well, it is done. The tibial sesamoid in my right foot has been removed. Thank goodness. This is what I am dealing w/...

(The black box is a TENS unit that I need to be hooked up to for the whole weekend.) My doctor says the surgery was definitely necessary. Doc said the bone was in the complete WRONG location in my foot. He said all the tissues, tendons, and ligaments in the area were extremely inflamed b/c of it being misplaced. He said there was also a lot of swelling and broken blood vessels in my joints. Geesh. What a mess. He said there was absolutely no way this would have EVER healed w/o the surgery. I am so thankful to have it over w/. When I woke up in the recovery room I had a funny conversation w/ the nurse. I was really drowsy and don't remember it all but she told me about it afterwards. It went like this.

Me- "I am going for a run."

Nurse- "Not today, you're not."

Me- "Dr. Brown told me I would be able to run in 3 weeks."

Nurse- "Well, okay. You can run in 3 weeks then hon."

Me- "I know I can. I am running on August 21st."

Nurse- "Not that you are counting days or anything."

I am actually in a lot of pain right now and am blogging to try to take my mind off it! My local anesthetic is wearing off now. I am on oral meds but they are not cutting it right now. Thanks to everyone who said prayers and sent texts and called. It has meant a lot to hear from you today. This has been a long road. I am so grateful to everyone who has been supportive of me these last few months. They have been rough to say the least. I am sorry that I've talked about this so much. It is onward and upward from here!

I love ya, tomorrow!

I am so excited for tomorrow. After my wedding and the births of my children, tomorrow is basically the next best day of my life. Tomorrow my tibial sesamoid bone will be removed from my right foot. Ahhh. I feel better just thinking about it. I am so happy I am almost giddy w/ anticipation. Thank you to all the people who made this possible. Mom for coming down to help me, Anna for watching my children tomorrow, Jack for financing all the medical bills. It takes a lot of great people for an event like this to be pulled off. Say a prayer for me that all goes well. I am sure it will... my surgeon is a genius. I will have to practice a lot of self-control so I do not kiss him. I can't wait for all of this to be over. And that will be tomorrow... after all... tomorrow is another day. Peace.

B is for Bees

This is my first ABC Wednesday post. When I took this picture I thought- "Wow, I could join that ABC meme!" My nephew has a knack for finding bugs. He found this under my deck! Just in time to be my letter "B" post. (If you enlarge this it is pretty scary!)

To join in the ABC Wednesday fun click the badge to the right.